Everyrelationshiphas its challenges but one woman has had enough ofher husband’sunusual car habit, to the point where she is now considering divorce.
Posting on the popularReddit AITA forum, the mom explains how this week his quirk has become unmanageable.
“I have been married to my husband for two years, “ the woman begins.
“He has a habit of sitting in the car for five-ten minutes before entering the house. I don’t know why he does it, but he talked about a past traumatic experience he had when he came home and caught his ex cheating on him.
“[the habit has previously] caused many fights between us. Like when we have guests over he’d sit outside before coming in, or when dinner is waiting for him and he’d take 10 minutes silently sitting in the car.”
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“I was shocked and angry”
The woman says that while this was obviously an irritation, she had until now managed to deal with this unusual habit. Last week however that all changed when an emergency situation unfolded at home.
“My eight-year-old son tripped and fell from the stairs and broke his ankle. He was in so much pain and I called my husband to come take him to the hospital and he rushed out of work but then I called and called and was stunned when I looked out the window and saw him sitting outside the house in his car. I was both shocked and angry.
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“I ran outside and I asked how long he was sitting in the car. He told me around eight minutes. I asked why he didn’t come into the house immediately to help and he said he would after two more minutes.
“I was so mad and hurt but tried to rush him and he insisted he wouldn’t feel ‘comfortable’ coming in until the 10 minutes were up.
“He told me to get my son ready to take him to the hospital, but I started screaming at him non stop telling him this was a family emergency and that he was out of his mind to behave like that. It might not have been my best response but I was shocked by his behavior.”
“I want a divorce”
The mom says that eventually a kind neighbor intervened and offered to take her and her son so she went to the hospital without her husband. Later he came and tried to talk but she refused, instead going to stay with her mom and texting him that she wanted a divorce.
“He tried to rationalise and justify what he did saying he could not help it and that he was nervous and wanted to help my son but felt stuck. I refused to reply to his messages and days later his family literally harassed me saying I was making my husband’s trauma more severe and that I disrespected his boundaries by pushing him off his limits.
“I feel lost and unable to think because of the whole ordeal. My family is with me on this but my husband is still trying to talk me out of divorce saying I’m making a huge deal out of it.
“I feel like I no longer have trust in him especially when it comes to serious stuff like how cold he was in a family emergency.”
The upset mom and OP went on to clarify that her son isn’t his biological son and that the couple don’t have kids together.
“Does he have OCD?”
Thousands of people read and commented on the post.
“I wonder if this is the only strange thing that he does,” one user commented.
“If he has OCD then there are likely other quirks. However, since this is causing problems in his marriage, he needs to address it and his family needs to support his recovery from this compulsion. I don’t blame OP one bit.”
Another felt that while his habit was relatable, it wasn’t right on this scale: “I do this every day when I come home, my kids say I’m sitting in my office! My work is crazy busy, and my house full of kids is crazy too, so I just need a few minutes to decompress in between.
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“It’s great for my mental health to have this time to myself. I definitely skip it every time we have something important to get ready for, and would rush in immediately if someone needed to go to the hospital!”
“It starts with him”
A third added that he is the only person who can really help himself through this habit – and that he needs professional help.
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“You are allowed to have deal breakers in relationships as well,” the user writes.
“It’s not wrong to want to feel like you have a partner you can rely on. He’s not that and he’s not taking any reasonable steps to become that.
“People with mental health issues can make great partners, but only if they don’t put all the burden on others. Just because he can’t control it does not mean it’s your responsibility to tolerate it. You can’t fix him if he won’t seek treatment, it starts with him.”
