Husband ends marriage when wife pawns late friend's painting of him; she says, 'it was ugly.' AITA? (2024)

I came home from work, wanting to rest, and noticed the painting was missing. I asked the maid if she had moved it, but she said she hadn’t. When my wife got home, I asked her about it, and to my shock, she admitted she sold it to a thrift store. I was furious. She knew how much that painting meant to me and how it reminded me of my late friend.

The argument escalated quickly. In a moment of rage, I told her I didn’t want her in my house anymore and that she was divorced. She started crying and promised to get the painting back, but I was fed up and kicked her out. Her parents’ house isn’t far, so I knew she had somewhere to go.

Ever since then, her parents have been blowing up my phone with calls and messages, calling me an a-hole for throwing away our marriage over a “stupid painting.” I came here to vent and get some perspective. Am I the a-hole?

Edit: A lot of people are asking me about the painting. It was a portrait of me when I was about five years old. My wife actually loved the original picture, which my mother showed her.

It was of me playing in the mud. When I mentioned it to my late friend, he painted it for me. So, I don’t understand why she hated the painting when she loved the picture.

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For those suggesting my friend might have been a girl or had done something to her, that’s not the case. He wasn’t a girl. Some have asked if he was racist or hated women because I mentioned he wasn’t comfortable being alone in a room with a woman.

He wasn’t like that at all. He was a very respectful and kind person who was nice to everyone. The reason he was uncomfortable being alone with women was because he was extremely shy.

Edit 2: A lot of people have been asking why I hung the painting in the bedroom instead of any other room. My wife didn’t want it in the house at all—it was either the garage, which is dirty, or out of the house entirely.

So, I didn’t have any choice but to put it in the bedroom. Some people suggested she didn’t want a painting of a child where we had s3x, but the painting wasn’t directly on the wall where she could see it when she woke up. It was next to our balcony, on my side of the bed. The painting isn’t that big; it’s about 30x40 inches, I think.

As for why she hated my friend, from what I understand, she was upset that I spent a lot of time with him. This is puzzling to me because we work together at the same company, and after work, my friend and I would go to a nearby restaurant.

I never canceled our plans just to hang out with him. However, when he was diagnosed with cancer and admitted to the hospital, I started sleeping there with him because he didn’t have any family since he was an orphan.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

Sousou2307

Nta - and the reason is not the painting but itself but her not showing respect regarding your wishes and selling your property behind your back. It seems she doesn’t care about your feelings and this behavior is a big red flag.

downwithraisins

A little bit on his side too though. You could reverse some of those points back at him. She didn't like the painting and he insisted it be hung in their bedroom. He could have found somewhere else. I would absolutely be furious if my partner showed such disregard for my opinion in my own home too. It sounds like he considers the home to be his alone.

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Longjumping-Pick-706

He never said that he was totally unwilling to move it to another room. The only places his wife suggested were out of the house or the garage. Those two options are obviously totally unreasonable. If she wants it moved, she needs to come up with an alternate place that she can live with.

Ermmahhhgerrrd

NTA. You probably should've put it somewhere other than the bedroom, but she never should've sold it.

Fun-Yellow-6576

NTA. I hope you get the painting back.

Azlazee1

Sad story. Firstly, knowing she hated the painting, why did you hang it in the bedroom where she’d see it multiple times a day. Think constant irritant. For her part, to sell something that obviously was so important to you is heart breaking and I understand your pain. She was callous and selfish. Hopefully she can get the picture back.

BibiQuick

NTA. I would probably have done the same thing. I’m curious: why did she not like your friend? And why did you need to have the painting in the bedroom?

N0b0dy-Imp0rtant

The painting was a symptom and not the cause. She has no respect for you and your things and that is not conducive to a stable marriage. She made a choice to disregard your feelings in a very unforgiving way.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?